I have not updated in a while because a lot of things have been happening – including the fact that our beautiful Pudding was born on the 29th November at 2.45am weighing in at a tiny 6lb13oz!
He is a little beauty 🙂
First photo – taken in special care unit
Chlling out at home on Mummy!
Sweet dreams!
Labour story to follow when this little man settles down!!
Lyndsey’s HUGE baby bump at 36 weeks – can you tell Pudding is a big baby – or ‘bonny baby’as the sonographer said !!
Generous Baby, Generous Fluid
This is Puddings scan photo taken at 33 weeks, that led Lyndsey to being diagnosed as having gestational diabetes.
We have been having extra scan’s done so they can monitor whether the heavy bleeding Lyndsey had at 22 weeks had had an affect on baby or the placenta. The last scan we had showed that Pudding had not been affected and that in fact he was big, very big, but still normal – just!
We still kept our appointment for the 33 weeks scan just to be certain everything was okay with Pudding. The scan photo above is from this scan and as you can see you can clearly see Pudding looking very cute with a button nose, however apparently you aren’t supposed to be able to see Pudding so clearly at this stage, because he is supposed to be taking up most of the room inside the womb and therefore the fluid does not reflect enough light for you to get such a clear photo.
The sonographer told us that the fluid amount was high at .5 over what is deemed as normal at Worthing hospital and that Pudding at 33 weeks was actually measuring as a 36 week baby. He was slightly concerned and sent us upstairs to the ante-natal unit to speak to a consultant.
The nurse there took Lyndsey’s blood pressure which was high and also a urine sample which contained glucose in it. The results were passed on to a consultant and she told us that Lyndsey would need to be booked in for another Lucozade test to determine whether she was now diabetic, another scan and for her blood pressure to be taken twice a week until Pudding had come out in to the World! That is a lot of appointments we now have to keep – thank goodness Lyndsey is going to be on maternity leave from today!
Lyndsey’s Lucozade test was on Wednesday just gone, we followed the instructions to a tee and then went off to have Lyndsey’s blood taken, the blood pressure taken and her urine sample taken! The urine again had glucose in it, but apparently that’s normal after just drinking 410ml of Lucozade!
That afternoon the results came in – Lyndsey was diabetic with a score of 8.1, the normal is below 7.8. She has to eat a low GI diet – we are still trying to find recipe’s for this! and has a lot more appointments to add to the collection, this time at the diabetic clinic.
We are currently worrying about Puddings size, because a symptom for the baby of the mother contracting gestational diabetes is that they are big babies! The next scan should show more on how he is doing growth wise. Also we now have to think more about Lyndsey’s birth plan and her having to milk colostrum from herself from 37 weeks of pregnancy for Pudding to have as soon as he is born to try and regulate his blood sugar levels!
I think we are both going to be grey haired, bags under our eyes and looking ten years older by the time Pudding gets out with the journey he has sent us on so far, but it is all worth it!!
Sunday the 7th was a date I was not particularly looking forward too – it was the date that we had to attend our ‘Parent Craft’ class. For most people I would assume it is quite an exciting time; the fact that you are having a baby suddenly becomes real, you get to meet other couple’s at the same stage of pregnancy as you and some people even find life long friend’s from the experience.I had tried to find us a gay friendly class, but sadly they are very much lacking, in our area at least, so I gave in and booked us on the local NHS day course. I dreaded it from the minute I had booked it, I had read on-line reviews of such ante-natal classes from other gay couples and most said how ‘awkward’ it can be – particularly for the non-pregnant partner at them, but I hoped as we lived in the next along from Brighton, supposedly the gay capital of the UK, that our classes may be a bit more sympathetic towards us.
I was wrong! So wrong!
After our first session, when only the term ‘dad’ was used to describe any type of partner, we asked the midwife in charge if they did have any classes particularly aimed at gay couples. She said no because they are inclusive now – I am not sure how inclusive using the term ‘dad’ is! She then went on to ask why we would want one. We then had to list our reasons; meeting people in the same situation, being able to share our stories of conception, partners being included i.e. not being called dad and not having the awkward moment at being put with the boys and having to talk about beer and football! and also so we too can make lifelong friends. As Lyndsey says a pregnant woman is the same as any other pregnant woman but it’s the introduction of the partner that makes it different from the other couples in the class. The midwife then let us know that if this was what we wanted then we should organise it ourselves…. t.b.c!
The rest of the day passed quickly, they still only referred to the partner as dad, no actually I am wrong, when it did come to the moment we had to separate in to boys and girls i.e. ‘dads and pregnant mums’ because we had mentioned the awkwardness of being put with the boys I was then described as “the birthing support person” and I could go with the girls! Apart from this random term being used instead of mummy this would have been fine, if we were then not given cards – blue for boys and pink for girls. The girls were then asked to describe what is in it for them in regards to breast-feeding, the boys were asked to write down how they would support their wives in breastfeeding. If common sense were to be used I therefore would have been with the boys!
Regarding what you learn about babies and labour during the course was overall quite good though and was ended by our midwife giving us an on-line tour of the maternity department at Worthing – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcsq9-eKzqA . The highlight though was definitely me winning the chocolate bar during the ‘guess the weight of the baby’ competition!
If there are other gay or lesbian couples entering in to parenthood in the Brighton and Hove / Worthing area please get in touch as we would love to get a group going.
It has been a fair few weeks since I last had time to update this blog and once you have read the below catch-up post I am sure I will be forgiven!
Our story picks up again on the evening of the 7th August. The evening started the same as every other we have had since Lyndsey entered the second trimester – lazing with a cup of milk to stop her heartburn in front of the TV, when our cat went mad; running around the house, crying at Lyndsey and then scratching at the floor in front of us. Standing up to see what was bothering him we noticed blood pouring out of Lyndsey all the way down her legs. At just 22 weeks and 5 days pregnant we were not ready for Pudding and Pudding was definitely not ready for the World! We called the hospital straight away who in turn called an ambulance for us and let us know to come directly to the ‘delivery suite’ – scary.
Upon arrival at the suite they were pleased to see Lyndsey was not in any pain and that she still had the ability to walk rather than be pushed in a wheelchair; not that there were any wheelchairs there so she didn’t really have a choice! Luckily the delivery suite that night was very “the Q word” so they were able to get ready for us and Lyndsey could be examined straight away. She was popped on a bed so a speculum could be done to see if the cervix was open, thank goodness it wasn’t! They then got out an antique scanner so they could monitor Pudding and he was great- bouncing around without a care in the world with a strong heartbeat.
Lyndsey was admitted to Bramber ward, the midwife and doctor were discussing what this bleed could be pointing to, unsure of the jargon that was being talked at us we braved it and asked the question “what would happen if the baby was born now?”. I don’t think we were prepared for the answer “if the baby were to be born today the hospitals only concern would be the mother, some hospitals will look after the baby from 23 weeks, our policy is 24 weeks and definitely not 22 weeks plus 5”. Ouch I think me and L could both the feel the stab through our heart!
Luckily Pudding behaved and stayed inside to keep baking. Lyndsey was discharged the following day and we even got the okay from the doctor to go the Olympics the following weekend! Whoop!
After being discharged Lyndsey continued to bleed for 5 weeks solid, during this time we had about 5 more emergency trips to the hospital (generally every Wednesday!) and we had begun to hate seeing that welcome sign!
We had also become a bit desensitised and blasé to the bleeding Lyndsey was experiencing over these 5 weeks. So when on the morning of our 25 week ‘madwife’ appointment and Lyndsey had another heavy bleed in the morning we went on about our normal business, waited in the waiting room at the family clinic for our appointment and casually mentioned to our midwife that Lyndsey had more blood this morning. The midwife did not take it so casually and asked why we had come to her and not gone straight to hospital – oops! She rung ahead to triage and we were on the road to the hospital again. Upon arrival Lyndsey had another speculum test which again showed the cervix was closed, Puddings heartbeat was also tested again – it was perfect! Proud parents! Lyndsey was sent home to rest so she didn’t even get her cup of hospital tea that day!
Lyndsey still had continuous bleeding until Wednesday the 5th of September (last Wednesday), that morning Lyndsey woke up and was blood free. It was the beginning of a normal day just blood free, so normal in fact that by 10pm that night we actually thought we had made it through a Wednesday without a hospital visit, but oh no, come 10.30pm and Lyndsey had painful cramping in her stomach and lower back that came every five minutes lasted for 30 seconds to 1 minute and came over a 2 hour period until we had to ring the hospital and we were back on the Bramber ward! After the many, MANY trips to hospital we had had and the many, MANY women we had seen in labour when we were there we knew it wasn’t labour but we did know it was definitely something because of the pain Lyndsey was in.
Our midwife this time was actually the first midwife we had met at the hospital on the night of the ambulance ride. She read through Lyndsey’s notes and asked if she was there because of bleeding, our reply “nope not this time, this time it is cramping” she was excited that we had a new symptom and reassured us she also thought it was not labour, that in fact it was probably a water infection so she wanted Lyndsey to do a urine test. However also to put everyone’s mind at rest she wanted a doctor to come and do a fetal fibronectin test, that would either come back positive or negative to whether Lyndsey would go in to labour in the next 2 weeks. If it came back negative it was a 99% chance labour wouldn’t happen within 2 weeks, if positive a 60% chance labour would.
The urine test came back positive for a urine infection, unfortunately the fetal fibronectin test result also came back positive so Lyndsey was admitted again and this time she got her cup of tea! She was discharged in the morning because she was not in labour (obviously) and so far it has been a week and Pudding is still safely tucked inside, with what the hospital midwife described as a gorgeous heartbeat!
Lyndsey has had one other test since I last posted, this was done yesterday and is commonly known as the ‘Lucozade test’. It involves drinking 410ml of Lucozade at 7.30am in the morning after not eating from 9.30pm the evening before and then giving blood. It is done to discover whether during pregnancy you have contracted gestational diabetes.
I think the Lucozade test process is enough to make the most hardcore of people sick, but for a queasy pregnant woman it’s like torture (for everyone involved!) Luckily for Lyndsey and me there is a McDonalds drive through just ten minutes from the hospital where this test was done – I don’t think anyone anywhere has been as pleased to see those golden arches as Lyndsey was yesterday!
Today it is Wednesday and we have had a relaxed ‘madwife’ appointment where we received a great big negative test result back from the Lucozade test and thus far no bleeding and no cramps – Whoop! Wish us luck for the rest of the day!
Pregnancy, I am beginning to find out, is a constant learning experience. Since I last posted myself and Lyndsey have gained some very important nuggets of knowledge thanks to pudding!
1. Pudding does not like curry !
I have a feeling pudding is going to be a boy and if ‘s true I do not want him to be a wimp like Lyndsey and not like spicy food, so I suggested one eve that we might have a curry for dinner. Lyndsey went for spicy foods but not hot, food items such as vegetarian samosa’s and saag aloo – this idea was a very bad idea and this day ended Lyndseys four day run sickness free. She has not been so ill since the first day of pregnancy sickness – Lesson learnt! This did however bring us on to our next lesson…
2. A red rash is not necessarily a red rash!
The day after the curry sick day Lyndsey woke up with a ‘rash’ on her face and neck, there were even red spots on her eyelids. We rang the midwife who told us to get to the doctor’s ASAP because it could be a virus. The doctor was really good and got Lyndsey in straight away, even though it was doctors strike day. Lyndsey was examined and the doctor look very closely at Lyndseys’ ‘rash’, she then asked if Lyndsey had been sick – we answered truthfully; very sick last night but before that had been sick free for four days, the doctor then checked a urine sample and blood sample and came back with the conclusion “this is not a rash, you have burst your blood capillaries in your face and neck by being SO sick” – who know this was even possible? – Lesson learnt!
3. There is a pregnant ‘Fat Fighters’
Living in West Sussex and having a BMI of 31 (rather than the desired 30) Lyndsey is supposed to attend a weight management ante-natal group. This group helps her to eat healthy so pudding is not affected by her extra one point of weight and also to make sure she has help to lose her baby weight after pudding is out. This is also the only antenatal group we have seen that advertises having refreshments – yeh! Although quite sceptical about this group Lyndsey did find it helpful and it has lots of good statistics in its favour too; for example overweight women who attend this group are more likely then those who do not to give birth vaginally and to breast feed – Lesson learnt!
4. Cardboard tubes come in handy for listening!
Lyndsey is now nearly 18 weeks pregnant (exciting!) and if this was her second pregnancy she would be able to feel the baby move inside her now. Whilst reading our handy pregnancy book to find out about puddings movement and size we found this handy hint; if you get a toilet tissue cardboard roll and place it against the bump where your baby is you can hear its heartbeat. We tried this last night and it worked – so amaze-balls – Lesson Learnt!
Handy Cardboard Tube – Pudding Listening Device!
Apparently this learning never stops – even when they arrive – I need a nap!!
Due to a mix up with the emergency scan appointment we had our ‘true’ 12 week scan at 14 weeks and 6 days. This time pudding was asleep showing us his spine! What a beauty 🙂
Pudding 14 weeks and 6 days – look at that spine!
Madwife is apparently the friendly nickname that other NHS workers have for midwives because the job apparently makes them all a little bit mad! I like it so am stealing it for my personal use!
So we finally had the midwife appointment dead on weak 13 of the pregnancy (24/05/2012), which of course is too late for all the tests in regards to detecting chromosomal abnormalities, but (luckily) we had decided that we did not want these tests. This decision was based on the fact that we had gone through so much to get to this point, that even if our baby did have anything ‘wrong’ with him we would not and could not just get rid of him, that in fact we would love him just as much and also the way they give you the information is a 1 in whatever chance, so you may always be the one that has it or on the flip one of the however many that doesn’t and we just didn’t want to spend the rest of the pregnancy stressing about those odds when we were already on the edge worrying about everything else – what Lyndsey has eaten, what she hasn’t eaten, that she is sick, that she isn’t sick, any feeling AT ALL that she has in our stomach – the list goes on and on !!
When the madwife arrived she was lovely, she really put us at ease about everything, not just medically either. When Lyndsey popped off to do yet another urine test I took the chance to ask her what has been on my mind since we made the decision to move to Lancing – “are there any other lesbian couples you look after in this area?” Thinking the answer would be – well last year there was another couple, instead to my surprise she said she had a three in her normal area (just next to Lancing) that were also pregnant now that she was looking after and in Lancing she thought there were another two. Just her saying this, whether it was true or not made me feel much better. Since moving from Brighton where ‘rainbow families’ are everywhere to Lancing I had always wondered whether we had made the right decision we didn’t want to be the ‘only gays in the village’ and we definitely did not want our children singled out as being the ‘only children of gays in the village’!
So now we have our notes ( a massive purple folder filled with all kinds of facts about Lyndsey and pudding), information leaflets about breastfeeding, antenatal classes and parenting classes and some coupons – yes, I love coupons!
It all seems very real now!!
Coming up to 12 weeks pregnant Lyndsey was out at a meeting and she experienced some more bleeding. She came straight home, but still not having a midwife, we did not know what to do. We rang NHS direct and they advised us to go to sleep and call the doctors in the morning – go to sleep?! are they kidding!!
Anyway we waited until the morning like they advised and rang the doctors who got Lyndsey in that morning to have a check-up. After doing some weird tests they booked Lyndsey in at the Early Pregnancy Unit for the next day where we would have scans and tests to make sure everything is okay with pudding.
The plus side of this turn of events is that we would not have had our 12 week scan had Lyndsey not had a bleed because we did not have a midwife.
As always with a scan I was filled with nervousness about whether or not we would see our healthy little pudding progressing well. I need not have worried though the sonographer found our little pudding bouncing around in Lyndsey’s uterus! Curling up in one little corner and using it as a springboard to dive across to the next side. The sonographer said he had never seen such a lively baby and asked Lyndsey if she had had caffeine that morning! Due to her morning sickness she actually just had water and a rich tea!
Because pudding takes after his mummy being a total fidget it was hard for our sonographer to get a good measurement and photo, however after Lyndsey had emptied her bladder a bit he managed to get the scan below. Amazing to see how just how much he has grown from 7 weeks to 12 weeks, you can even see the little nose now.
Pudding 12 weeks
We also got the all clear in regards to the bleeds not being from the uterus and also that the cervix was fully sealed at the time of the scan so he was happy for us to leave. He did however state that we should ring the midwife department and make sure we were assigned one that day.
